Kill Unbelief.

My mind is completely messed up, I will be the first one to admit that. Not only does the bible explicitly provide this truth about the human mind, but my daily thought-life confirms this reality. 


Some people seem to think I have it all together. This is eons from the truth. I struggle with doubt on almost an hourly basis. I constantly have thoughts coming into my head:

• "How do you know all of this about Jesus is true? You can't prove it."
• "Why would you trust the bible when you can't prove God wrote it?"
• "What is truth?"
• "You've tricked yourself into believing a lie."
• "God doesn't care about what goes on with you."
• "God is not involved nor interested in what goes on in this world." 
• "He's not listening to you."

There was a time a few months ago when I collapsed under the weight of these conflicting thoughts. My mental capacity was overtaken with these thoughts 24/7. I doubted my salvation. I doubted the Word of God. I doubted Jesus. I doubted God. This all drove me away from the Bible. I didn't want to read it because I didn't want to have to deal with the pounding of the words "Lies. Lies. Lies." in my head as I read the Scripture. 


One night at a worship service, I wasn't even able to worship. I could not escape the thoughts in my mind. I couldn't escape the fear and the doubt. A friend of mine came over and told me, "You have more control over what goes on in your head than you think." Could this really be true? I mean come on, I wasn't asking for these thoughts to come into my mind. I didn't have control over that. 


But what I did have control over was how I handled the doubts. For so long I would feed them by rigorously over analyzing them. My thought life just kept going in circles, round and round and round, but not really getting anywhere. I was miserable and felt utterly defeated... by my own mind. I wasn't trusting Jesus in the slightest.


But God was faithful, even in my faithlessness. I decided one day I was going to spend the whole day reading the Word, even if I didn't feel like it. So I did..........and nothing happened. I didn't feel any different or any better. I didn't have some crazy super-spiritual enlightenment. 


But a few hours later I realized that I had an unexplained peace that I had not felt in months. Immediately I realized how to defeat my unbelief! I had to kill it with truth. I had to invade the crevices of my fallen mind with the Word of God... constantly. More than just once a day. I needed to be flooded with truth. My mind needed to be renewed and transformed. Of course I "knew" that before. But now I really knew it. Sowing the Word into our hearts will always result in a harvest of faith, love, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. 


I still struggle with doubt, but now I know I am not helpless. I have the power to immediately take captive and  kill any thought that comes into my mind that rises against truth and against Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Rather than pondering on and over analyzing doubtful thoughts, I immediately speak the Word of God over myself and my mind. I speak the truth that conquers all lies. I speak light into the dark abyss of my soul. I speak life into the depravity of my heart.


"Jesus Christ is Lord. His Word is truth. Absolute truth. I will not allow my carnal mind to rise up against this truth. I will not let the opinions of others sway what I know God has confirmed in my heart to be true. I take captive and kill every thought that goes against what I know to be true. I will not let my life be dictated by my emotions and what I do and do not "feel." My life will be led and dictated by TRUTH."


I want to end this with a warning:

Satan is very real. And his army of demons is very, very real. He wants to deceive us. He wants us to doubt God. If Satan keeps us doubtful, fearful, and weak, what impact could we possibly make in this world? None. Obviously Satan could not mess with me or torment me unless God allowed him to. Does this make God mean or evil? Absolutely not. God is my Father. I believe He has allowed me to go through this in order to show me the strength that is inside of me, Christ in me. 


 If we believe we are weak and helpless, we will respond to demonic attacks in a weak and helpless manner. We can't believe that lie! Every regenerated child of God has the power inside of them to tackle the devices of Satan head on. Christ Jesus lives inside of us. He CREATED demons. Does He not have dominion over them? Yes He does. And has He not given us authority over them? Yes He has. Through His power you can stand against the weapons that the enemy forms against us. The devil wants to destroy us, and although He can't (because we are sealed by the Spirit of God until the day of redemption), he surely is going to try to make us believe that he can.


"Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me"- John 14:1.


"... I believe; help my unbelief!"- Mark 9:24